Most of us are taught at a pretty young age that just because you like two separate things doesn't mean combining them makes an awesome new entity.
For example, you may love your wife while also being a big fan of grabbing some drinks with your college boys, but combining the two is probably not the best idea in the world.
This applies to food too, as you wouldn't catch me combining pickles with a chocolate milkshake, despite my love for both.
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Why, then, on God's green earth, did the New York Islanders think it would be a swell idea to put Nerds Gummy Clusters in grilled cheese and call it an edible concession item?
Someone get me a bucket!
I like grilled cheese.
I'm also a big fan of Nerds Gummy Clusters.
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But maybe we should keep these two things on separate ends of the meal spectrum, where they belong.
What is it with sports arenas and combining the most bizarrely incompatible food items they can think of?
It's almost as if we are in some sort of culinary arms race, and all these teams are trying to outdo one another to try and drum up some press clippings (which I'm clearly contributing to).
My mom always told me not to knock something until I try it, but I think I'll skip the Nerds grilled cheese abomination and just assume I'm not a fan.
The sad thing is that there has to be a market for these Frankenstein-esque creations, otherwise these arenas would stop making them altogether.
If you're reading this and you happen to be one of the sickos that would willingly try something like a Nerds grilled cheese sandwich, do me a favor: don't.
I'd like to be able to go more than a month or two without seeing the worst menu item on the face of the planet and then getting worked up into a frenzy having to write about it.
The beautiful thing about capitalism is we can make this stuff go away by just not buying it.
So the next time you're at an Islanders game, maybe opt for the plastic hockey stick filled with beer or some nachos out of a goalie mask.
And let me keep a sliver of my sanity this hockey season.
